A Metaphor for Online Dating, Or, I don’t know, Something Else Entirely – Problems # 443

Posted on February 3, 2014


This man was sitting at his desk trying to figure out if he had a memory problem or if perhaps he had a drinking problem because all of these people he did not know were coming by and acting as if they were answering questions he had asked.  He did not remember asking any of the questions or who any of these people were. For example the man received a letter from Susan. She apologized for taking so long to get back to him. Susan wanted to get information about doors to him. She discussed the measurements of doors and the difference between solid core and hollow core. She broke it down and talked about which doors would hide screams and which would clearly NOT. She talked about invisible doors and doors to rabbit holes. At the end of her letter she challenged the man to come see her at such and such address and she would lock him in a room and she would leap upon him and whisper all the secrets about which doors had knobs adequate for pulling teeth and which would work best for keeping wild animals inside his house.  I’m quite lonely sometimes, Susan wrote, and I think you are too. We will no longer be lonely, Susan wrote. This man was sitting at this desk trying to figure out who all these people were and why they wanted to give him so much information he had never requested or at the very least didn’t remember requesting.  Don’t be paranoid, he said to no one. This is just what its like to be old and forget who you asked what to, he mumbled.  But he had a full inbox and there was a line outside his office full of strangers and faces he thought he might be able to place if he would only squint enough.

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Posted in: Problems