The Piano Ghost Stole My Neighbor – Problems #16

Posted on January 5, 2014


It’s true that ghosts live inside everything that is old and dying. Lately one of these ghosts has been playing the piano outside, which makes no sense because the piano isn’t suppose to play. I had bought the piano to charm my neighbor, who frightens me quite a bit with midnight singing and her jazz music through the walls. Still, she is spatially near me and single and so I had to try. So I bought this dead piano to say that I had it for decades and I was a jazz musician.  My plan was to have her ask me to play it and for me to reveal how well used the thing was. Then she would gasp at my amazing experience as a musician and probably marry me or at least bite me gently on the neck or maybe we could go on a romantic walk down some beach and talk about wet kitten noses, I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. There is that fucking ghost now and he’s out there every night playing the damn thing.  She heard him one night and stopped her jazz music and stopped her singing and she walked outside and they REALLY hit it off. I’m not saying its wrong, a living person and a piano ghost, not my place to judge, but what I am saying is that my plan didn’t work and I’m going to die alone and I probably won’t live in a piano or anything quite as elegant. I’ll probably haunt some toilet in a garbage dump or an old computer that I used too much in regards to online dating.

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Posted in: Problems