Logical Conclusions – Tiny Fear #70

Posted on January 15, 2012


The footprints of a man have been in the snow lately. They lead from the driveway to the back door. I’m the only man living at my house, but the footprints are not mine. The best logical conclusion is that my wife is cheating on me. The only problem with that is that I do not have a wife. This means she is innocent. Good for her. The second best logical conclusion is that I have worms or some bacterial infection and that I am leaving tracks everywhere I go and forgetting about them. If I had a wife she would tell me to shut the hell up. She would tell me to stop being ridiculous and to take the garbage out or to mow the lawn. I would argue that there is so much snow outside that I can’t mow the lawn. I wish I knew who was leaving the footprints, but for the life of me I cannot figure out a third best logical conclusion.