Dating Land Owners – Comfort #4322

Posted on December 27, 2011


Before he would go out on a date he would run the girl’s name through the County Auditor’s website. He only dated land owners. This was crucial because he always feared that some day only land owners would be able to vote. This also provided valuable perspective. Bingo! This girl was a land owner. A nice ranch in the suburbs. Score! On a cul-de-sac. He took a moment to review the drawings on file with the auditor. Three bedrooms, two baths, a ton of windows. He flipped to the property taxes. Oh no! She was behind on her tax payments by six months. This was a problem. If she forgot her taxes, would she forget other important things? What if she would forget their future children or to feed and water the dog? What if she just didn’t have any money and made terrible investments, like in houses, that she couldn’t possibly maintain?  He went to his second source of information. He brought up her Facebook profile. Oh no, he thought. She didn’t have any privacy settings. This was a problem. And then he started looking for pictures of her in a bathing suit or with copious amounts of alcohol. Anything could be salvaged, he was fond of saying.

Posted in: Year 1: Comfort