A Small Trimming – Paranoia #749T

Posted on November 9, 2011


I have been threatening to shave the cat. I have gone so far as to buy hair clippers and to wave them in front of his face at random intervals. The problem with the cat is that he sleeps too much. The second problem with the cat is that he will not stop growing hair. The third problem with the cat is that I do not even own a cat, so who is this cat that is so hairy and so lazy and that eats all of my hot dogs and tuna? The cat does not even think I will really shave him. He is a cocky cat with a cocky cat face. My hunch is that when I finally do shave him I will find that he isn’t a cat at all but actually a cave monster or some aged beat poet. I’m not afraid to shave the cat, do not get me wrong. My only concern is that I am a mouse. I am a mouse and he is a cat (assuming he is really a cat) and these sorts of relationships end poorly for my kind. Luckily he is usually full of hot dogs and tuna, and I am a rather brave mouse, so I will do it sooner or later. I will shave the cat and find out his true identity and perhaps even make him get a job or at least file for permanent disability so that he can pay part of the rent and the grocery bill.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia