Chompers and Podiatry – Paranoia #396

Posted on September 28, 2011


There is a podiatrist coming town, which is great news. I have been nervous lately and I am hoping that he can help me with that. There are no other doctors out here.  I live in the desert with the cactus and a large population of coyotes. While the podiatrist is here I will also ask him about my missing nose. My nose was stolen in my sleep and now I cannot smell. Since I cannot smell I can never be sure that I have successfully taken a shower. This is making me shy. Maybe I will mess up during the shower and then smell so bad the podiatrist will think badly of me and at the same time wonder why this man is coming to him without a foot disorder. I know what I need to do. I need to stab myself in the foot to make things legitimate. The coyotes keep telling me that it will be okay, podiatrists are use to smelly things, they work with feet. The coyotes have been telling me to stop worrying, that I smell good. No that’s not the word they use. They say I smell delicious and lip their lips and snap their chompers.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia