Tragic Costs of Education – Curse #6632

Posted on September 26, 2011


He attends a public elementary school. He graduates with some skinned knees and one particular letter in his permanent file documenting an incident in which he wrote a love note that begged a crush to kiss him or he would kill himself or her cat or possibly both.

He skips high school. There isn’t much point. He’s too busy applying to colleges.

He gets his undergraduate degree in the sounds made from a kazoo. This is when he notices a zit or maybe a boil growing on his face. He names it Senorita Flan. Most people point and laugh but he doesn’t care. He plays his kazoo and the women, in spite of Senorita Flan, really dig him.

He decides to get a graduate degree because he loves college so much. This time he studies pastries, which women also love. When he graduates he notices that not only does he still have Senorita Flan but his nose has grown significantly.

Ten years later he gets his Ph.D. in astrophysics. He does this because he loves to look at stars and name them. He also does it because the women find it romantic. There is nothing like a man naming a star after you. When he graduates with his Ph.D. he notices that his head has expanded until it is so big he has a difficult time managing doorways. Most nights he dreams up new types of degrees to pursue, though secretly he gets nervous at the prospect because he has no idea what the tragic costs of further education may be.

Posted in: Year 1: Curse