How to Handle a Brush – Advice #123

Posted on August 24, 2011


The first step is to abandon any concern about quality and style.  Your first paintings will be unbelievable.  This is because, much like your careless handwriting, the paintings will look like a five year old made them.  At first you will encounter mild humor.  Yeah right, people will say.  They will laugh and tell you sarcastically that they are sure you painted these works.  After the sixteenth painting people will begin to get a little more aggressive.  Where are you getting these from, they may demand.  They will want to know where these poor children who you are obviously robbing are.

If you try to paint in front of one of your accusers you will feel your fingers tense and will likely choke several times.  The product of this event will be a very gorgeous impressionist style painting.  This is your cue to begin a career as a professional painter.  The only challenge is that you will need to have someone accusatory sitting next to you, glaring as you paint.  This is when you should consider marriage.  Your friends will still question you often about the children and how you stole their paintings and if their parents knew.  It is best not to argue now that you have a business plan. In most cases the best thing to do is to tell your friends (many of whom have children of their own) that parents today just must not love their children that much.


Posted in: Year 1: Advice