Dominant Underwear – Paranoia #767

Posted on August 20, 2011


Someone has hung their underwear in my yard. I know why they have done this. It’s a sign of territory and dominance. The only problem is that I don’t know who the underwear belongs to or who my opponent is. I know that my next door neighbors are not the ones who left the underwear. The reason I know this is that I have made it very clear that I have been leaving my underwear on their front doorknob. This is a sign to them that I am dominant and that they are in my territory. That is why you will never see them make eye contact with me even as I wave and say Good Morning to them. I always have felt that if dogs or lions wore underwear, they too would show dominance and territory in such a civilized manner. But then Animal Planet would have nothing interesting to broadcast and we would be bored on Saturdays.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia