The Analyst Predicts Doom Through Chance – Comfort #1843

Posted on August 15, 2011

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The analyst knew that the statistical chance of any one person dropping a pen during a meeting was small, perhaps .0001%. The chance of two people dropping a pen at the same time was much more rare, approximately .00000001%.  When his two co-workers sitting next to him both dropped a pen he immediately predicted that something terrible would happen that day. For the rest of the morning he hid behind the plastic plants and then later inside the kitchenette cabinet. In the afternoon he called security and asked them not to forward any packages to his office. As he left the office he made sure to look both ways before crossing the street. At the gas station he followed all of the rules, not even looking at his cell phone to check if he had any missed calls. Of course he had picked up his wife’s phone on accident that morning, which was a terrible thing in of itself. How could he check Facebook without it?  When he got home he let out a heavy sigh. Safe and sound. And then his wife came downstairs with his phone in hand and shook it in the air and laughed loudly. It was a sound that could go either way. She could be accusing him of something or she could be genuinely humored. He was prone to acute feelings of paranoia. He always thought that maybe he did something and forgot about it and now he was going to be murdered by his wife. That would account for the terrible thing he predicted earlier in the day. His heart stopped for a moment as he cataloged the horrible things he had done that week, trying to predict his next move in a precise, safe fashion.

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Posted in: Year 1: Comfort