8609 Boxes – Paranoia #4943

Posted on August 12, 2011


I am trying to figure out what is in box number 8609. I am not allowed to open the box until my birthday, which is tomorrow. I am hoping that there is food in box number 8609. I haven’t eaten in six days. Well that’s not true. I found a Twinkie under my bed and that was very good. I have been in this bedroom now for two years. I was sentenced here for being a bad significant other. Sometimes I get boxes like this box here, box number 8609. The boxes are not always filled with good things. I have had a few tense moments when I believed there may be a small bomb in this box or that box. It’s just her sense of humor and always just an alarm clock with a loud ticker. I have ten of them now.  Box number 6503 had a very angry squirrel. I had to share box number 6509 with him, which consisted of meat loaf. The next hundred boxes had no food, so I had to eat the squirrel. Box number 8609 shakes every once in a while. There are sounds like crying. I’m hoping it’s not a baby. If it is a baby, I am going to be angry with my significant other. It’s one thing to banish me to my bedroom for two years, but a baby means she has reproduced with someone and moved on or that she has committed a possible felony. Being stuck in this room isn’t so bad. I like the boxes, and I have begun to make forts out of them. So here I am, with box number 8609, wondering what will be in there when I open it tomorrow. Like I said, I hope it is food. If it isn’t food, maybe it will be a key so that I can finally leave this room and learn to be a good man.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia