Renting Space at the Theater – Investment Strategy #7

Posted on August 8, 2011


One of the more rewarding rental investments is the movie theater. At the theater you pay an average of $10 to rent a seat for 120 minutes. Typically, if one speculates the film correctly, even more space can be annexed such as the back of other seats where one can rest their feet.  Another consideration is if you can manage to sneak in supplies instead of purchasing them at the concession. If you buy supplies such as food ($15) or water ($6 per bottle) then the rental costs increase to $31. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend with you this triples to $93 and the investment is less attractive. All of these figures even out slightly if you account for the incredibly stellar deal of having access to bathrooms at no additional cost. You can use all the toilet paper you want and you can flush the toilets at will (but you shouldn’t, because we want to be green). If you happen to have a kidney or gastrointestinal disease, this becomes a luxury perk. If you happen to have a drinking problem, this also becomes a luxury perk. If you happen to be a stall perve, please do not go to the movie theater.

If one arrives thirty minutes early there is an increase in investment by 25%, so in essence you occupy and exist for free during this time. There is arguably no other time in your existence that you will exist and occupy space for free (unless you become homeless, but then their are external expenses that must be accounted for). This free existence can further be extended by wandering the halls of the theater, acting as though you are lost until someone with a flash light and acne finally tells you to leave. A final investment strategy is to sneak into another movie, but this increases the risk on your investment as those who get caught are typically executed without warning. The possibility of execution is indeed a dire one, but do not worry. If you are an honest investor this will not happen to you. The only other executions that take place in the theater occur to young couples necking in such a way that loud slurping sounds ruin the film, or those unwary fools who play on their cell phones.