How I Contributed to the Debt Crisis – Curse #0529

Posted on August 2, 2011


For my twelfth birthday I asked my parents for a super power. They misunderstood and told me that wanting to own a county like the United States or Russia was egocentric and expensive. After I explained that I wanted a real super power, like the ability to melt things or to have insect eyes, they bought me a cheap one, invisibility. The power of invisibility was second hand and I couldn’t control it. I went through the next twelve years with difficulty. I was always invisible. I was always picked last for sports and women were difficult to date. Cliche, I know, but how many wallflowers are invisible? Are you even a wallflower if you are invisible?  No one could see me. Cars would try to run me over. I’d be mistaken for ghosts and demons all the time. Once a priest tried to exercise me. In college I managed to get a business degree. One benefit of being invisible was the ability to cheat at everything and watch girls get undressed. Just kidding. Mostly. After school I nabbed a nice cubicle job. A few months in the CEO saw an empty chair and thought he was a man short. He hired an accountant to take my place. The accountant had a super power too, but had come from a rich family and so had a much more expensive power. He could see into the future. He felt sorry for me, but said he had saw this coming and had gotten over how bad he felt years ago. What now, I asked him. What am I going to do with myself? You’re going to become very successful, he said, as an invisible friend or possibly a breeze of wind or a pervert. I really can’t tell, he said. I’m getting a terrible migraine. Would you please leave my cube? I left and went to the unemployment line and that’s how I began to contribute to the debt crisis.

Posted in: Year 1: Curse