Trying to Kill the Fair – Paranoia #99

Posted on July 11, 2011


No one is coming to the fair anymore. We can’t even give away seats to the Ferris Wheel. Did you know the Ferris Wheel has been around since 1893? No one has any respect for tradition anymore. At one time we had a contract with the city. We would let them put their prisoners on the Ferris Wheel and we would watch them all day. The prisons were getting pretty crowded. Of course some people caused a stink. Why should prisoners get to ride the Ferris Wheel all day? Because, we argued, the lovers and the children were no longer doing it.

The fun house is another problem. No one wants to come to our fun house and the fun house has begun to take it seriously. It’s become deeply morose. It’s a morose house now. NO ONE WANTS TO ENTER A MOROSE HOUSE. It infuriates me.

The elephants and the bearded women have all ran off. There are no more wolf boys. The dancing animated corpses ala Dr. Frankenstein have all been torched by the villagers. They could never really two step very well anyhow. Our one chef, who made a killer hot dog, has gone off to work at a Chinese restaurant.  I am the last member of the fair.

At least the tunnel of love is still here. The water has dried up but now it’s easier to walk through and scrub down. Sometimes I will go there when I am particularly lonely. Sometimes I will cheer loudly and the echoes will cheer back. If I close my eyes while I do this I feel as though the crowd has momentarily returned. Somtimes I will tell knock knock jokes. Knock Knock, I will say. Who’s there, my echo will say. The Fair, I will say. The Fair who, my echo will say. But I never remember how the joke ends.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia