How to Make a Woman Love You Like You Were Casanova – Advice #354

Posted on May 30, 2011


He lived in the same building as a man who claimed to be Casanova. One night they shared conversation and drank red wine.

So you want the woman in 4B to fall in love with you, said Casanova.

Yes, the man said.

Well that is easy, Casanova said. At least, it is easy if you are Casanova. Casanova laughed.

Stop laughing, said the man. Can you help me?

Yes, Casanova said. You are lucky we are neighbors. I will tell you what to do. You must attack her heart.

That sounds bloody, said the man. How do you go about attacking a woman’s heart?

The only way to attack a woman’s heart, said Casanova, is through her senses.

That still sounds violent, said the man. What do you mean by the senses?

Casanova yells passionately, the senses! Sight and sound and beauty!

You’re losing me, said the man. Be more precise.

Art, said Casanova. No woman can resist an artist. Begin slowly. Try finger paints. Construction paper. Trust me. I am Casanova.

At this point Casanova fainted, his head hitting the kitchen table loudly. The man and Casanova had nearly finished three bottles of wine. The man got up and frisked Casanova, a bad habit he had developed during his college days. He found his wallet, removed it, and looked at his drivers license.

Fred Gregors, said the man. Great.

He tried the art approach in spite of his better judgement. He cut out construction paper and drew doodles. He tried finger paints, but really had a hard time expressing his inner feelings for this woman.  One day he snuck into her apartment and hung all of his art work along her staircase. He left his phone number on one of the pieces of paper, but she never called.  Luckily the the police never called either.

Art was a difficult talent to develop. He would experiment with poetry.

Posted in: Year 1: Advice