Devious Creatures – Curse #548H

Posted on May 19, 2011

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On the ever expanding list of devious creatures, alarm clocks tend towards the top 10. While monsters (devious creature #4) hide under the bed, the typical habitat for an alarm clock is the nightstand, a much more immediate and bold position.

Aside from a lover (devious creature #2) there is no one else that will tell you what to do more than an alarm clock. Also like a lover, no two alarm clocks are the same. While you can generally give an alarm clock direction, some will permit you to sleep longer than others. This can lead to scheduling problems and unemployment and ruined dreams.

While the alarm clock causes psychological harm, there are creatures that can physically pose more of a threat. Giant squids (devious creature #45) sink ships. Kittens (devious creature #12) shit in boxes and force you to clean them. Children (devious creature #5) do something similar. Chefs (devious creature #32) make you fat.

Perhaps the most dangerous thing about the alarm clock is that it never gives fair warning against the long term effects of time (devious creature #1).  For this you must rely on wrinkles (devious creature #11 to women and #35 for men), arthritis (devious creature #99), and mirrors (devious creature #6). Time will still catch up to you but by then you will not be able to stop it. Late in life the alarm clock is less menacing, defeated by indifference and lengthy naps.

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Posted in: Year 1: Curse