Vacancy – Paranoia #347V

Posted on May 13, 2011


There are ten apartments on my floor, and only two of them have tenants. One of those tenants is me. The other apartment contains a couple that I have never seen, Dan and Sue. My concern is that Dan and Sue are trying to kill me. I think they want the floor for themselves. The other day a friend of mine came over and flipped the light switch. He was instantly fried. Someone had been messing with the wiring. I had to get rid of the body by using the laundry chute.  Somehow Dan and Sue know I like candy. They left a jar with a nice note, “Have one, Dan and Sue”, on the package stoop outside their door. Sometimes I crawl down the hall, below the sight of their peep hole, and put my ear to the door. Oftentimes it is silent but then other times I hear this lurching sound of a heavy animal, a sharp grunt, and the sound of feeding. Occasionally I can hear them whispering. Dan will whisper, I think he is out there again. Sue will reply, just keep eating.  They will snort and oink in laughter and I will flee back to my apartment.

I think Dan and Sue may be giant pigs. I have added several locks to my door and have tried to call management (but their phone is out of order and they haven’t collected my rent check in some time). Since the rent is cheap, I guess I’ll be staying here for a while, but you can never trust your neighbors these days, you cannot trust anyone.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia