The Thirteenth Risk of Love – Paranoia #12127

Posted on May 2, 2011

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The thirteenth risk of love is a problem involving over abundance, as opposed to other risks which typically involve themes of abandonment, false realities, or pregnancy. When the thirteenth risk occurs, a lover becomes so enamored that they begin to steal their significant others body parts.  They do this in secret at first, and for a time it is unnoticeable. Typically this process begins with the toes. It is not until the thief has worked their way up the body, to the nose to be precise, that the significant other and their friends begin to notice the bruises and the dried blood and the missing limbs.

To further complicate matters, the lover who steals body parts is illogically driven to hide those parts in the backyard, or in the park across the street, burying them like a dog buries a bone. This proves to be a challenge for the significant other when getting ready for work, forced to trot from one freshly buried hole to another, pulling out ears and fingers, cleaning them off in the sink and then gluing them back on. And how do they explain the situation to the foreman in any serious tone, when the nose is still missing and the voice sounds so high and hilarious that he stands there pointing and laughing, encouraging other co-workers to walk over and join in.

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