Things That are Missing on Easter- Paranoia #121O

Posted on April 24, 2011

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Today is Easter Sunday and usually I get a basket with candy goods. This morning, I do not have a basket and my girlfriend is missing. I do not know where either of these objects could be, but I expected them here.

There are approximately four years in the past twenty-eight that the easter bunny did not bring me a suitable basket. These years were as follows: 1986, 1989, 1996, and 2011.

In 1996 I did not have the technology to track the rabbit down. Today, in 2011, I do. The local easter bunny, who’s name is Rick, has a cell phone that is GPS enabled. I got his number by dialing 411 and now I’m tracking him. I’ve got his location narrowed down to a K-Mart down the street.

Funny thing is, I can track my girlfriend at the same time. She too is at the K-Mart.  This is causing conflicting thoughts. My first thought is whether the two things I was expecting are there together. If they are, I will need to go rabbit hunting later this afternoon. I will find Rick and I will make rabbit stew out of him. If they happened to be there independent of one another, I am hoping they meet and discuss the basket that I am missing. I am hoping for a chocolate egg the size of my fist, in a nice yellow basket, maybe with a toy soldier or a pocket knife.

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Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia