The Twelfth Risk of Boredom – Curse #393

Posted on April 23, 2011


When he is bored he picks on smaller mammals. He has always rationalized this as a law of nature, that larger animals can do whatever they want to smaller ones without retribution.

You have disagreed with everything I say today, she says.

No, I haven’t, he says.

She says, SEE!

Part of the reason he feels safe in picking on her is that she is smaller than him and thus too weak to strike back against his banter.

What do you want for dinner, she says.

What do you want for dinner, he repeats.

So we’re going to do this now, she says.

So we’re going to do this now, he repeats.

I’m going to kill my boyfriend, she claims.

I’m going to call my other girlfriend, he pokes.

Other girlfriend, she cries.

Which one, he says.

There are certain advantages smaller mammals, such as humans and apes, have developed over the centuries. The ability to utilize sticks or heavy objects as weapons serves as one such example.

What is that vase for, he cries.

I’m going to kill you, she says.

He bought her this particular vase on a day when he had made mistakes that demanded an apology. He had picked up several of the glass containers and favored this one for it’s weight, which made it seem durable.

Give me another chance, he says.

Give me another chance, she jokes.

Once there were roses in the vase, an apology long accepted. Now, try as he may, he cannot get an apology out. She is quicker, and takes him by surprise.

And sadly this could have been prevented, had he just found something on television to watch. But television these days is a joke. Hundreds of channels and nothing interesting enough to keep the larger mammals from picking on the smaller, yet capable, ones.