Unsigned Warnings – Paranoia #4911

Posted on April 17, 2011


Lately I have been receiving warnings. These warnings are confusing because I do not know what they are for.

The first warning was written on a post-it, placed in my cubicle. Don’t forget to be careful, it reads.

There have been a score of other messages left in my gym bag, burned into the grass in the backyard, left in place of the pickle jar in the fridge.  I have been calling my friends and family to see if any of them are concerned for my well being. Somewhat alarmingly, none of them seem to be.

I thought maybe a crazy ex-girlfriend might be leaving them, trying to trick me into running back into a committed relationship. I did a quick search for them on the internet and strangely enough they have all recently died.

I have been pulling out calendars and diaries, reviewing notes to see if there is any danger I may be forgetting. Did I miss a dentist appointment?  Do I need to rotate my tires?

Last night the warnings became more dramatic. Because this person wants me to take the warning seriously they have tortured this stuffed bear named Mr. Happy, stretching out his arms and hanging him from the string that works the closet light. They left red paint on the floor that reads, keep an eye out for that one thing.

I am beginning to suspect the messages are warning me of this person that is leaving them, or maybe vice versa. Frankly, they are not very specific.