Academic Relationships – Curse #888

Posted on April 14, 2011


She finds out that her boyfriend, a professor and academic, has murdered a woman in the basement.

So what, she says, was she prettier than me or something? You never dismember me.

He says, you’re jealous I never dismembered you?

She says, you think she was prettier than me, don’t you?

Baby, we can’t really argue about this, he says. First, you need a definition of pretty.

Don’t start, she says. Don’t start with this academic bullshit. This is a serious problem. You find other women attractive.

Then we have to ask, he says, whether our accepted definition applies to all aspects of pretty. What if I’m into legs and you’re into eyes?

Stop it, she says. Stop it or I’ll scream.

Then we have to ask, he says, whether pretty is causal. Did I kill the girl in the basement because I thought she was pretty, or is there merely a correlation between the girls I murder and beauty.

She says, there were others? There were other women?

There were others, he says. I’m a serial killer, honey. Serial. Seriously, use your pretty head. Think like a professor.

Posted in: Cereal, Year 1: Curse