Breaking Glass – Advice #89

Posted on April 9, 2011



There is no requirement that says you must have a reason to break glass.  Usually emotion is more than enough to warrant such behavior. If you do fall upon reason to justify the shattered glass, the wine stained walls, or the sound of cracking, make certain it is not a clichéd reason.  For example, you should never take up breaking glass for love. While most actions derive from some form of love, tossing a glass into the street or kitchen in the name of love will simply not do.


If you begin to break glass regularly, your style will be spoken of in social gatherings. While many larger women will take up opera, trying to break glass with their voice, smaller women will use tiny hammers. Men are creatures that lack style. Usually they will simply toss their glass, however, the more flashy men will do so in a drunken candor, stalking alleys and sending shards into the street next to their hotel.  With enough practice, you may be able to break glass with your mind.  Regardless of style, always keep bandages and Aspirin in the medicine cabinet.


After seeing the bandages and scars, eventually the friends and family closest to you will begin to fear for your safety and replace all of your glasses with plastic cups. In this case, please reference Advice#96, ‘how to melt anything in six ways’.

Posted in: Year 1: Advice