Practicing Intimidation – Advice #312

Posted on March 6, 2011


Parakeets are a nervous bird and make for good practice. When the six year old asks his mother why the strange man is baring his teeth and growling at the parakeets, you are doing something right. The parakeets should think that they smell blood and carnivore as your white teeth glint in the fluorescent lighting. Enjoy this opportunity while it lasts. The pet store will soon notify you of the complaints of  birds and other customers, banning you from returning.

Visit the zoo. Find some flamingos or a walrus. Try a stray toddler.  When you have  mastered intimidation you will be able to stir goosebumps with a mere whisper and crack mirrors with a simple gaze.