Monkeys – Paranoia #2931

Posted on February 8, 2011


There are monkeys living in the apple trees outside. I don’t mind much, but my neighbors hate them. I could do without the feces, and I could definitely do without the complaining neighbors, so I dig traps. The monkeys, who can sense my hesitation towards them, have been cleaning snow off my car, trying to get on my good side. Every morning I come out and find banana peels and feces on top of the half cleared car.

The monkeys are clever and never fall into my traps, however, the neighbors sometimes do. Now they are complaining about that, too. I am wedged between unlikable neighbors and a troop of well meaning monkeys and I am having trouble telling them apart, trouble deciding who to call animal control on.