The Peaceful Feeling – Advice #P032

Posted on February 7, 2011


Everyone should have a place that inspires ‘the peaceful feeling’.  For some, it is a quiet museum where Van Gogh decorates the walls. Others maybe have a specific used car dealership. There is nothing like spending time walking amongst ruined Pintos.

For me? The grocery store.

I have one rule regarding grocery stores: If it can be avoided, never go except from the hours of 12AM – 5AM.

This is the perfect time, which I refer to as ‘the time of the Stockers’, and maximizes my ‘peaceful feeling’.  Aside from Stockers, and the few unsavory night time lurks (such as myself), there is no one.

If I happen to go there aside from these prescribed hours, the “peaceful feeling” is destroyed.  I threaten fellow shoppers with jars of Nutella and Green Peppers when they venture too close.  When I run out of products to throw, I climb into the cart and start to rock back and forth speaking in tongues.  I do this until security rolls me out of the store.

What I mean to say is that I do not like grocery stores during rush hour. Get your own milk on the way home.

Posted in: Year 1: Advice