Freshwater Love – Advice #TRA12

Posted on January 16, 2011

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A man read in Field & Stream that springtime was the perfect season for catching freshwater mermaids.  While salt water mermaids were fierce lovers and had a habit of accidentally drowning their mates, freshwater mermaids were quite pleasant and gentle.  He borrowed a net from his neighbor and spent the day tangling a mermaid with it.  The mermaid was confused, but instantly fell in love with him.  He was a handsome man and handsome men were easy to fall in love with.

They spent spring and summer with each other.  She described frog politics and he explained automobiles and roller coasters and shopping malls.  When autumn came she disappeared. She did not return until the winter ice melted.  He asked her where she had been and she told him that had she stayed with an old friend in Florida.

He quickly realized the constraints of dating a freshwater mermaid.  1) He could not trust her during the winter months. 2) His skin pruned and minnows would nip at him whenever they cuddled in the river. 3) She had a great disdain of his appetite for sushi.

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