Things Preventing the Procurement of a Dog – Paranoia #597

Posted on January 8, 2011


A man wants a dog badly but there are things getting in the way.  One reason he wants a dog so badly is that a dog would be his best friend. This makes his best friends nervous but he explains carefully that they would not be replaced. They seem unsure and tell him that maybe he should get a goldfish.

Someone who sleeps, eats, and bathes in his home does not want him to have a dog.  This someone is his wife or maybe his girlfriend or maybe his housekeeper.  They do not want to have to walk a puppy to pee on the lawn in the middle of the night.  If this person is his wife or girlfriend, he believes they fear his love for this dog will replace a part of the love he feels for them. If it is his housekeeper, he fears she is lazy and does not want to clean up dog shit.

He does not know what kind of dog he wants, only that a dog will fill some gap in his life.  There are many things a dog can do that he no longer can, things such as chewing on slippers, peeing in the neighbors bushes, and howling for no reason at two in the morning.

Posted in: Year 1: Paranoia