2011 will be Delightful – Comfort #41

Posted on January 1, 2011


2011 will be delightful.

Avoid the crushing fist of dread and doom.  Avoid long lines at the grocery store. Avoid being a snail. Avoid procrastination and an over abundance of fast food.  Avoid loud shrieking sounds (they kill Cilia in your ear and make you deaf) and any existential turmoil.  Avoid pulling any muscles while tending your homestead on Farmville.  Avoid suburban sprawl and owning more than one pair of long johns (one is more than enough).  Avoid white bread, harsh tones, and chiding yourself in mirrors.  You should not avoid love, even though this act may lead to existential turmoil.  If you do avoid love, you should take up robots. Robots listen to everything you tell them. But they can be cold, so take a blanket.

If you do all of these things, you will not suffer the fate of the friendly New Year’s Snail.  This will make 2011 delightful.

This public service message has been brought to you be SomethingNewPlease.

Happy New Year!