After Life – Curse #2.1

Posted on August 26, 2010


When he finally committed to dying — and trust that he did have commitment issues — he let Death quietly carry him to the afterlife. What surprised him was Death’s laziness. Death dropped him off on the side of what looked like a poorly maintained highway. There were no rivers of chocolate and not one diamond street filled with scantily clad women. There was only a statue – a statue that resembled an emaciated Hare.

“Hello,” said the mangled Hare.

“You have got to be kidding,” he replied, his speech slurred from the toll dying takes on the brain.

“What’s the matter?” asked the Hare.

“Well, I’m dead and this isn’t what I expected,” he said.

The Hare said, “Sorry to hear of your of disappointment. Say, do have anything to eat? Maybe a carrot or a nice, tender steak?”

They would spend centuries there, repeating variations of the same conversation. He would sometimes lean against the statue and watch for Death to return. Once every few decades he would glimpse black robes on the horizon, get excited, then fall silent as he realized it was only an approaching storm cloud.

As with the variety of commitments he once made, the situation sorely disappointed him.