To a dear friend on shaving – Advice #43B

Posted on April 20, 2010


Mildred will kiss you on the nose and everyone knows what that means.

During the kiss you may grow self conscious about the stubble growing from your chin and cheeks and neck. You’ll remember the dull razor in your bathroom cabinet and go the next day to find some leather strap to sharpen the tool. When you’re finished, that razor will be sharp enough to slice a finger clean from the bone.

Don’t forget to pour yourself a drink, something fiery and over ice. And don’t forget to lather with soap to prevent any razor burn. Carefully start with the cheeks and work your way around the edge of the chin, looking for blemishes and imagined fine lines that make you think about Mildred’s eyes examining your face like a dermatologist. Mildred is a classy lady and once that stubble falls from your face, you will be a classy man.

Be gentle with the neckĀ  — the skin there is so very soft and you have lost your head before.