My girlfriend has left but the mailbox is still there. The post office has gone bankrupt and so there isn’t any new mail but the box is hanging around because no one has come to take him away. Someone did come and take my girlfriend away. He was an pediatric cardiologist. The mailbox has no purpose in life so he has been trying a lot of new things to feel better about himself. The first change the mailbox made was to have himself painted a new color. He went with a puke green. I don’t care for it much. After a dozen other small changes the mailbox began smoking cigars and drinking rum. I like to get up early to set up the sprinklers and water the lawn. I have this house that we bought, me and my girlfriend. I have noticed that the squirrels have started to disappear. I’m concerned that the mailbox is eating them. I don’t have any evidence but it’s a strong feeling. He has run out of junk mail and needs to eat something. The diet must be good. He is starting to get thinner. Maybe I should eat squirrels too. But where is all the junk mail? Junk mail breeds quickly. Those abandoned post offices must be filled to the brink. I wonder if they have become cannibalistic. I hope they have not developed teeth or digestive acids. The government will need to protect us before they grow too strong and begin to venture out of the empty post offices. Soldiers and flame throwers. Then maybe we can get rid of these drunk and sketchy mailboxes too. I was expecting a love letter, maybe an apology and a plea to take her back, but love letters are weak and I am sure that it was chased down and eaten by the junk mail early on.
daretolivepp
January 13, 2012
I like it.
whatimeant2say
January 13, 2012
Love it – particularly the line, “Someone did come and take my girlfriend away.”
Linda Vernon
January 16, 2012
Ha! Yeah and the line after that, “He was a pediatric cardiologist.” Nothing I enjoy better than starting out my week with some delicious dystopia. You just can’t make this stuff up . . . oh wait a minute . . . yes can!